I wish I could speak Spanish. I mean I can speak a few words, I’ve learned them here and there, but they don’t add up to anything.  I know how to curse in Spanish.  I mean isn’t that what all young kids do growing up when they are force fed a language? Jump right to the fun part…cursing.

Any rebellion is fun when your a pre-teen.

In high school I had two choices from what I remember. I could have learned Spanish, but I chose French. I took four years of high school French and by the end of senior year could hold my own in a conversation.

One problem, being 17 and having no opportunity to go abroad and use my skills, I’ve lost 90% of the ability I had. But, go me, I have been trying to to tutor myself and get back.

In College I had more language choices to add to the other two. I could have learned either Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, German, or French. I chose Italian.

If I’d chosen French I might be fluent at it by now, but I’m not.  I chose Italian, another romance language cause I thought that would be cool.

Technically I’m Trilingual, because I can translate and speak a little bit it French and Italian right now, as well as English. 

I have such and urge to learn languages, but I lose any skills I get. I can’t hold on to it without using it.

I do however seem to possess an uncanny ability to translate any language into English if I hear the statements enough. My ex is fluent in German. Well sort of. Anyway he used to speak it in full sentences and I’d translate nearly flawlessly. The boy was baffled.

Here Is What I know, in order of how well I can speak them

1-English
2-French
3-Italian
4-Spanish

What I want to know now…

Spanish (better than I do)
Portuguese
Mandarin Chinese
Arabic
Greek
Gaelic ( I’m 75% Irish)
Russian
German
and Something Random like…
Hindi
Czech
or Urdu

I’ve heard it said that hell is empty and all the devils are here. 

Well these days, that seems very likely. I’ve gone through the whole list of evil things out there these past few months and nothing. No one knows about the ice-eyed witch who took him from me.  My only possible clue in the last six months is gone. I flew here from Australia and there is nothing here. The snitch was dead when I found her apartment. Did you know blood flows like molasses in water?

Nothing is working out anymore. I’m losing hope, but I refuse to believe that he’s dead. I refuse to believe I’ve lost him. Adam is out there I know it. I just have to find him.

Maybe that’s why I started writing this journal. It makes me feel connected to him, reminds me of him.  Adam was never without his journal. I can remember a hundred times off hand that I watched him writing. Every morning I over slept after we moved in together, I’d wake and find him hunched over the book at his desk.

God I miss those moment’s. Adam is my life. I can’t seem to live without him. 

Magnus has stopped calling me. Jude is the only one who still cares. He is the only one who hasn’t given up. I’m not stupid enough to believe he wants to help me  get Adam back. I’ve known for a while that he is in love with me.  Adam even knew it, but there’s never been a reason to worry about him until now.

He’s coming here to Prague. I don’t know how he found me, but he’s going to be here in an hour. So I’m waiting. Waiting for Jude….all I do is wait anymore.  Wait for a sign, anything.

Where’s the Hail Mary when you need it?

We’ve been married for seven months…but we’ve spent only one month of that time together.

I will find my husband. I will.

-Emma

itburnslikeherpes:

“I can’t see her face. I dream about her every time I close my eyes. I see her, and I chase her, but I can never see her face,” he drops his head, “I’m afraid I’m going to forget her altogether.”

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(Source: winchesterwench)